


you make the winter feel warmer

by ADreamingSongbird



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: (kind of), Almost Kiss, Christmas Fluff, Ice Skating, M/M, Mistletoe, Pining, alex bones and kong all make appearances as well!, asheiji secret santa 2019, set during canon (somewhere around ep 18 but we ignore blanca)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:29:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21976627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADreamingSongbird/pseuds/ADreamingSongbird
Summary: "Let's take a walk," Eiji said, already pulling on his coat. He didn't need to use those big soft eyes to convince Ash, but he did anyway, turning to look at him with hope shining in his face. "I want to see the lights for Christmas! Please, Ash?"And who is Ash to tell himno, some kind of monster?
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 26
Kudos: 213





	you make the winter feel warmer

**Author's Note:**

> written for [@prologhex](https://twitter.com/prologhex) on twitter!!! merry belated christmas andi and happy early new year - i hope you like this!!! :D

It’s Christmas Eve. People are out in droves, tourists enjoying the sights and locals scurrying home; Ash thinks they make a funny pair, him and Eiji, ‘cuz they’re one of each. They’re walking together, Eiji’s hand tucked into the crook of Ash’s arm, in the chilly New York night, and Eiji is marvelling at all the lights shining in the night. Ash is marvelling at him.

(He shouldn’t be, though. He needs to keep an eye out for danger. Just in case.)

“Oh, wow,” Eiji breathes, looking up. “Ash, what building is that?”

The skyscrapers of the Rockefeller Center loom around them as they walk, and Ash can’t help but watch with mild amusement as Eiji cranes his neck to peer up at the top floors. “This whole area, coming up in front of us, is the Rockefeller Center,” he answers, easily pulling Eiji to his side to keep him from running into a woman too busy texting while walking to dodge herself. “Figured you might wanna see, since we live so close by anyway.”

“Yeah,” Eiji murmurs. The city lights are reflected like so many stars in his dark eyes.

It takes conscious effort to tear his eyes away and look back to the streets. Ash clears his throat.

“Wow,” Eiji sighs dreamily. “It is beautiful. I wish I had my camera.”

_Next time,_ Ash almost says, but bites his tongue. Tomorrow is Christmas Day, and he’ll be dead before he mingles with all the tourists out here tomorrow. And next year, with any luck, Eiji will be back in Japan, far away from here.

(The thought makes his chest ache. He ignores it.)

“You have your phone,” he says instead. “Take photos on that.”

Eiji tears his gaze from the skyscrapers to give him a withering look. “Phone cameras do not even come _close,_ Ash Lynx.”

Ash shrugs, placing his hand at the small of Eiji’s back to guide him forward. “I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’m no photographer, Onii-san.”

“Stop calling me that,” Eiji grouses. “And I am just a photographer’s assistant.”

“Good enough to be a pro to me.” Ash gives him a small smile. He doesn’t think Eiji will ever understand the magnitude of what he’s done with his camera—not only has he captured all the men who visit Golzine at Club Cod, but also he… he’s made Ash able to tolerate the sound of a shutter again.

Eiji is the only person in the world who has selfies with him. Selfies! With stupid Snow filters and Snapchat stickers and scribbles all over them. Ash has started being okay with showing his face on film again, finally, even when Eiji is behind the camera instead of in front of it with him. All because Eiji loves to capture moments and freeze them in time, to treasure later, no matter what comes then.

“What do you want?” Eiji narrows his eyes. “You are never just sweet to me. What is it? Do you want me to let you sleep until noon tomorrow? Or—”

“Eiji!” Ash groans. “Maybe it’s just Christmas, and I just wanna be nice to you. I’m always nice to you, I mean, but nicer than usual.”

“Hmm,” Eiji says, and eyes him suspiciously, but he can’t keep the delight out of his face for long, and soon he’s excitedly batting at Ash’s shoulder as he points at 30 Rock, rising high into the night sky. “Ash! Ash! What’s that one?”

“Still Rockefeller Center,” Ash says, smiling again at the wonder in Eiji’s eyes.

He’s so excited to be out and about exploring the holiday season, despite everything that’s happened to him in the past several months; it makes Ash’s chest ache in the best of ways. He wishes he could love life the way Eiji does. He wishes he could let Eiji teach him how to smile like that. He wishes he could wrap himself up in Eiji and never let go.

But those thoughts are dangerous, and he refuses to entertain them for long. Better to just keep talking. “That’s building number thirty. It’s the tallest one.”

What is he, a tour guide? Ridiculous.

“I can take you up to the top sometime,” he adds, and immediately wonders why he just said that. It’s a tourist trap. The view is nice, but is it really worth it?

“Really?” Eiji gasps. “Oh, I will have to bring my camera! Do you think—can I order a package to our door? Is that okay?”

Of course it’s worth it. Eiji will be delighted.

“Should be,” Ash says, pulling him in close as a very drunk man careens down the sidewalk, hollering Jingle Bells incoherently. “Why?”

“I want to get a better wide angle lens if we go all the way up there.” Eiji hasn’t taken his eyes from the skyscraper yet, trusting Ash to guide him. His cheeks are flushed pink from the cold; it’s more endearing than it has any right to be. “The zoom lens I have is very good, but if I could get a wide angle lens, I could do a panoramic shot next to the zoom ones. A good ultra-wide angle lens would be even better.” He laughs softly, shaking his head. “But those get to be very expensive.”

Ash purses his lips as he guides them around a corner to enter the Channel Gardens. He still hasn’t gotten Eiji a Christmas present, because he’s a bad friend. Maybe that’s for the best, if this opportunity is presenting itself now. Surely Ibe can help him pick one out, to be sure it fits Eiji’s camera. “How expensive?”

“The good ones?” Eiji wrinkles his nose, finally looking to Ash. “They can be between fifty-five thousand and a hundred thousand yen. That is, um…”

“Roughly five hundred to a thousand bucks,” Ash calculates. “Current exchange rate is a little over a hundred yen to the dollar.”

“Yeah.” Eiji shakes his head ruefully and slips one gloved hand into Ash’s pocket, just resting it there as they walk. Ash looks at him questioningly, but he doesn’t say anything, so he just accepts that Eiji’s weird and keeps his arm about his waist. “It is a lot.”

Not really. Not when he’s sitting on millions of dollars stolen from Golzine. What better way to spend a few hundred than on making Eiji smile?

“Yeah, sounds like it,” he says, affecting sympathy. “Too bad. Still, I’m sure even if you took your phone up there, you’d get good photos.”

“This again?” Eiji gives him another dirty look, the rosy-red stain in his cheeks darkening—the wind must be picking up, though Ash hasn’t noticed it too much himself. “When we get home, I will show you the difference between—”

He cuts himself off with a gasp, stopping abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk, and Ash tenses, whipping his head around to try and spot the danger. Who’s there?! Arthur’s dead, so it can’t be one of his goons unless they’re acting alone, but—

_“Ash,”_ Eiji breathes. “The tree!”

Oh.

Ash presses the heel of his free hand to his face and swallows a groan.

The Rockefeller Center Tree.

Right.

“It sure is over there,” he agrees mildly, wrapping his arm more firmly about Eiji’s waist. “Wanna get a closer look?”

“Yes, please!” Eiji flings his arms around him, and Ash stiffens in surprise. He’s going to hug back, but Eiji pulls back as fast as he jumped on him, grabbing his hand and tugging him forward through the crowd. “It is so pretty here, I want to see all of it!”

“What happened to photos?” Ash follows him easily, hand firmly grasping his, and tries not to laugh at the way Eiji all but bounces on his feet. “Thought you wanted—”

“I need a better angle!” Eiji huffs, pulling him forward until they find a bench that has an open spot, the first Ash has seen in the plaza. Eiji lets out a cry of triumph and jumps up onto it, balancing on the armrest to get additional height, and pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens his camera.

“Don’t fall,” Ash cautions, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking up, just watching.

Eiji’s face is alight with the glow of all the Christmas lights, and his eyes shine with delight and wonder as he concentrates on his camera, fiddling with the settings in Pro mode that Ash has never once in his life bothered with. He watches a gust of wind ruffle the pompom on top of Eiji’s hat and blow his scarf out behind him like a banner, and—

Eiji wobbles, thrown off-balance; Ash reacts without thinking. As Eiji squeaks and slips, he catches him about the hips, snatching him out of the air and holding him against his chest tight enough that his feet don’t touch the ground.

Eiji blinks.

Ash blinks back.

Holding him like this, he’s got Eiji close enough to kiss. He kind of wants to.

The thought flashes through his mind—again, as it keeps doing, even when he shoves it as far as he can as possible—and he almost flinches. He should… he should put Eiji down.

“Okay?” he asks, loosening his arms, and Eiji slowly slides down his body to the ground again, eyes wide and cheeks red from the cold. He still has his phone in one hand; the other rests on Ash’s chest.

“Um, yes?” Eiji blinks again, still wide-eyed, and looks down, at Ash’s scarf, and then back up at his face. “Thank—um—thank you, Ash.”

Ash clears his throat and lets go of him, stepping back; Eiji looks down at his phone, examining the photos he got. They seem to be fine, because Eiji puts his phone back in his pocket, looks at him again, and takes his hand. Relief courses through Ash’s body, swift and heady; thank god Eiji doesn’t think that was weird or awkward of him.

“Let us keep walking?” he asks. “I want to go closer to the tree.”

“Sure,” Ash says, and lets him lead the way.

It’s when they reach the tree that things go awry. And—it isn’t that everything goes wrong, per se, but Eiji’s eyes drop to the ice rink under the tree, and he gasps again, just like he did when he saw the tree itself, and all the stars hidden by the light pollution from New York City begin to shine in his eyes.

_Oh no,_ Ash thinks. And then—

“Let’s go skate, Ash!” Eiji says excitedly, turning those bright eyes on him with full force, clutching at both of his hands and all but bouncing on his feet. “Can we? Can we? Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Ash Lynx is good at a lot of things. Too good, some might say. He’s a ruthlessly efficient killing machine; he’s brilliant at math and science and literature, all together; he knows his way around a gourmet kitchen. He’s terrifyingly good at many things, and he knows it.

But there are still things he completely fucking sucks ass at, and chief among those is this:

Saying _no_ to Eiji Okumura.

And so, even though he’s never ice skated in his life, even though he will be useless to defend Eiji if someone attacks while he’s clumsy on ice, he finds himself looking at the line for admission, sighing as he texts Alex that their walk will last significantly longer than planned, and saying, “Okay.”

They don’t seem to have come at an awful time, at least; it would be peak hours, Ash thinks, but the weather is cloudy and cold enough that perhaps a decent number of people have chosen not to bother. The line isn’t too awfully long, and while they wait, Eiji cajoles him into taking a few stupid Christmas selfies, decorating them with hearts and sparkles and Santa hats.

“You really like Christmas, huh?” he asks, slipping his hands into his pockets. The line shuffles forward a few paces. “I didn’t know it was big in Japan.”

“It isn’t the same as it is here,” Eiji admits, tucking his hand into the crook of Ash’s elbow and standing close to his side. “It is less of a… family holiday, there, and more about spending time with your friends, or… partners?”

“Oh.” Ash pauses. His cheeks heat just a little at the implication, and he glances down at Eiji, dark hair fluffy and wind-mussed. “Guess you’re missing some cute girl from back home, then, huh?”

Eiji elbows his side. “For a genius, you really are very stupid.”

Ash frowns. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“That you are stupid,” Eiji says primly, and refuses to elaborate further. Ash rolls his eyes and lets it go.

He watches people on the ice whiz past the rink walls, children clinging to the side wall or couples laughing and twirling around each other. He’s never even tried ice skating before. But it can’t be that hard, right?

Next to him, Eiji hums along to George Michael as he croons out over the speakers, bouncing a little on his feet. He looks thrilled.

Ash bites his lip and sighs. He can do this.

He pays for their entrance fees and skate rentals, and Eiji beams, hugging his arm as they walk onto the mats.

Ash takes a deep breath and blows it out. A boy a few years younger than him zooms toward the rink wall, turning his feet at the last second and coming to a stop with a spray of ice that covers a girl on the other side; she smacks his head and calls him an asshole, and they both laugh.

“You’re nervous,” Eiji observes, looking up from the bench where he’s already lacing up his skates with his nose wrinkling in amusement.

“I’m not!” Ash defends, eyes wide. “I can do it fine, I’m just—it’s nothing! Shut up!”

Eiji grins, fire in his eyes fit to melt the ice. “Okay, Ash!” he sings. “Come, put on your skates, I am waiting for you!”

The fact that Eiji is so excited about skating already bodes poorly. Ash tries not to think about that fact as he gives him a dark look and sits down to unlace his boots.

It’s just a slab of ice and some blades on his shoes. How hard can it be?

The answer, it turns out, is _really fucking hard_. Sure, it’s easy in theory: bold, confident strokes, a measured shift of the weight—but in practice, it’s fucking impossible to keep his feet under him, and if he tries to pick up the pace, he’s certain someone will slam into him from behind and lay him out cold.

No pun intended.

Eiji laughs, giddy and gleeful, and quite literally skates circles around him. “That’s it!” he calls, encouraging, as Ash glares and pushes forward, feeling like an uncoordinated, clumsy baby deer. “Take longer steps. You do not need to shuffle so much! Push outward a little bit, not straight forward, and you will get further.”

Of course Eiji can skate. Skating is like flying across the ice, as close to flying as one can get while on the ground—thinking about it, he’d be more surprised if Eiji _couldn’t_ skate. Eiji belongs here, just like this, exhilarated and joyous and taking flight.

“Why are you good at this?” Ash grouses. The ground threatens to slip away, and he yelps, wobbling dangerously; just before his feet completely slide out from under him, he latches onto the rink wall and slides down in a split, one foot forward and the other back, before he manages to pull himself back up, clutching desperately at the wall. “Eiji!”

Eiji, giggling, stops recording and puts his phone back in his pocket, traitor that he is. “Sorry, sorry! I do not mean to laugh!”

“You do!” Ash glares, wobbly but on his feet again. He’s all warm from exertion now, and kind of wants to shed his coat, but the idea of trying to carry something while doing this is horrible. “You’re laughing!”

“I am not laughing at you!” Eiji defends, gliding smoothly closer to him. His cheeks are flushed and he’s still giggling, face alight. “It is just cute!”

“This is not _cute,”_ Ash hisses, starting to inch along the wall again. “You’re just fucking bragging.”

“No, it is cute!” Eiji twirls on one foot and skates backward slowly to keep pace with him. “I am not used to seeing you do things you are not good at. It is like… one time I watched a documentary about the African savannah, and they showed a baby giraffe being born. It fell from some height because its mother was tall, and afterwards, it did not know how to stand up.”

Eiji mimics the newborn giraffe, splaying his limbs out and hunching over as he makes a face like a scared, confused baby, his big eyes even bigger for effect. Ash gapes at him, incredulous.

“You’re such a fucking asshole!”

“No!” Eiji laughs and waves his hands. “I just mean you are cute! Come on, stop clinging to the wall!”

“You want me to fall and get a concussion?” Ash narrows his eyes. “Cuz that’s how I’m gonna hit my head and get a concussion. And it’ll be all your fault.”

“You are such a big baby!” Eiji rolls his eyes and reaches out to him. “Here. Hold my hands, and match my steps.”

“We’ll just both fall and get concussions.” Ash gives him a dour look.

Eiji’s smile softens. “No, we will not. I will help you. Do you trust me?”

“I do,” Ash mutters. Eiji’s hands don’t falter, and he heaves a deep, weary sigh. “Fine. But if I make us both fall, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

He tentatively places his hands in Eiji’s. It’s fine as long as they’re standing by the wall, because he has his feet under him, but he’s not sure about—

Eiji starts to move, holding onto his hands, and slowly skates backward. Ash panics and stands stock-still, so Eiji ends up dragging him like cargo and laughing. Ash can’t help but think of the dog they saw being walked on the way here, planted firmly and resisting against an owner determined to drag him back home.

“Ash! It is not so bad! Just move your legs!” Eiji laughs. “Do not think about it too hard. Just look at me, and not your feet! You can do it!”

“I’m fine,” Ash huffs, pride stinging. He really feels like an idiot out here in the open—who would have thought Ash Lynx of all people would turn into a frantic baby deer on ice?

He can just imagine Golzine’s shock at seeing him here, an utter antithesis to the elegant, perfect young man he’s supposed to be—he’s wobbling and pouty about it, upset that he can’t move without his feet threatening to slide out from under him—and it’s so fucking stupid he barks out a laugh into the cold night air. He’s making an embarrassment of himself in public. Fuckin’ Dino would be _pissed._

“See?” Eiji encourages, grinning brightly. “It is fun, right?”

“Yeah,” Ash admits, and holds onto him a little tighter before he tries to make his first more confident stroke forward. He only wobbles a little, and Eiji easily steadies him. “Yeah, fuck it, it’s not so bad.”

“That’s the spirit!” Eiji beams. “You are doing great! Especially on skates like these. It is not just you—they have not sharpened these recently.”

“You can tell?” Ash glances down at their feet. Eiji moves with slower, stronger movements than his awkward shuffle; he tries to replicate that on his next push forward. It goes well until his momentum slows, and he nearly overbalances. He would have ended up on the ice, if Eiji wasn’t holding him, that’s for sure.

“Mmhmm!” Eiji guides him through the turn at the end of the rink, and Ash tries to copy the way he moves to turn smoothly. “They do not grip the ice as well if they are dull. If your skates slide across it instead of digging in, they are too dull. Public rental skates like these are usually dull, anyway.”

“You know a lot about skates,” Ash comments. Eiji’s eyes flick to something over his shoulder, and he has to fight the urge to turn around and see what.

“Watch out,” Eiji murmurs, tightening his grip on his hands, and a second later someone zooms past, fast enough that the wind of their passing blows Eiji’s hat off. Eiji huffs, puffing out his cheeks, and lets go of Ash to bend to retrieve it. “What a rude person!”

“Welcome to New York,” Ash says sardonically.

Eiji makes a face, pulling his hat back on, and takes Ash’s hands again. “Whatever. But to answer your… well, it was not a question, but… the point is, when I was younger, before I got serious about track, I thought I might want to go into figure skating! I used to skate with my sister a lot.”

“Really?” Ash asks, and then considers. “I could see you doing that.”

Eiji smiles, but this one is a sad smile, not the exuberant grin of just a minute ago. Ash immediately decides he doesn’t like it. “Well, either way, a snapped ankle is a snapped ankle, so there goes that would-have-been career, too.”

Ash squeezes his hands, at a loss—telling him that it’s okay seems presumptuous, but anything else feels like a platitude. “Yeah,” he finally murmurs. “Life just isn’t fair, huh?”

“No.” Eiji shakes his head and looks at him with unreadable dark eyes. “Definitely not.”

They skate together for almost an hour; Ash’s feet hurt by the end of it, but the joy in Eiji’s face as he spins and laughs and glides along is so bright he can’t bring himself to care about a little discomfort. What’s a bit of pain if it makes Eiji smile so much?

But the session ends, and all the skaters are ushered off the ice so it can be resurfaced before the next one. Eiji, carrying both of their coats, leaves the ice first, and turns to hold Ash’s hand as he steps carefully from ice back to mat. It’s disorienting for a moment, when the ground doesn’t slip and slide under him, but he rights himself easily.

“That was fun,” Eiji says, as they walk back to their apartment, hand-in-hand. “Thank you, Ash.”

“Anytime,” Ash murmurs. “I’m glad you had fun.”

He wishes it really could be anytime, that he could take Eiji out to skate and see the lights and marvel at the world more often, but even with Arthur dead and his informants scattered, Golzine won’t rest, and Ash would rather die than let harm come to Eiji.

So, back upstairs it is.

“I hope the boys did not burn the house down,” Eiji muses as they stand in the elevator, watching the floor number rise. “I did not think we would be home so late.”

“Why would they have been in the kitchen, anyway?” Ash asks, stuffing his gloves back into his coat pocket. The elevator is warm enough that he can start defrosting—and he’s not that cold now, after all their skating.

“I asked them to help prepare a few things for dinner!” Eiji smiles mysteriously, and Ash is immediately on guard. “Because it is a special occasion.”

“There better not be any pumpkins in there,” Ash cautions dourly, “or I’m throwing you out a window.”

The elevator dings gently as the door opens on their floor, and Eiji snorts. “I would like to see you try!”

“You think I can’t?” Ash raises an eyebrow. Of course he would never actually do it, but there’s a window at the end of the hallway, right past their apartment door in the corner. “Famous last words, Okumura.”

Eiji must see his gaze slide to the window, because he darts out of the elevator without another word, sprinting to their door. Ash takes off after him, but Eiji’s fast—of course he is, he was a competitive sprinter—and lets out a bright peal of laughter as he dodges Ash’s attempt to grab him. Then he’s banging on their door, not even bothering to get his keys out.

“Alex!” he cries. “Bones! Kong! Help, help, open up quick—”

He breaks off into a high-pitched shriek as Ash grabs him, sweeps him off his feet, and throws him over his shoulder, arms pinned to his sides. Eiji squawks again and wriggles insistently, and Ash takes a threatening step toward the window, and—

The door flies open.

“Eiji?!” Bones cries, and in front of him Alex stands, gun in hand, face grim.

Ash stares at them both, while Eiji squirms on his shoulders and whines, “Ash! Put me _down,_ you big meanie!”

This is totally fine and normal. This is the exact activity that a dignified, imposing gang leader partakes in. There’s absolutely nothing incriminating about having Eiji wiggling over his shoulder and trying to get down, nor about the way he’s sure his cheeks are still reddened from the cold outside.

Alex, Bones, and Kong stare back. Kong blinks. Bones opens his mouth, thinks better of whatever he was about to say, and closes it again.

Finally Alex relaxes, and the moment breaks. “Boss! It’s you! Eiji, you gave us a heart attack!”

“Some reaction time you had for a heart attack,” Ash frowns. “What if Eiji actually was in trouble? He could’ve—”

Eiji kicks him in the arm. “Ash!” he complains. “Put me down! Do not make me actually kick you!”

“Sorry, Boss.” Alex looks between him and Eiji and nods once. Ash can see him decide not to ask questions and hides a smile. That’s why Alex is his second-in-command. “We’ll do better next time.”

“Ash!” Eiji flails. “You made your point! Put me down!”

“I have to inspect the apartment first,” Ash tells him, but he leans down and drops him back on his feet before walking inside. Eiji huffs and swats him on the shoulder, folding his arms across his chest, and neatly toes out of his boots at the door.

“What’s going on?” Kong asks Eiji quietly, glancing at Ash as if he won’t notice.

“He said he would throw me out a window,” Eiji sniffs. “And so I was trying to escape.”

“Oh.” Bones follows Kong’s gaze and swallows hard. Ash ignores them in favor of tossing his coat over the back of a chair. “Eiji, don’t take this the wrong way, ‘cuz I love you to death, but if Boss really wanted to throw you out a window, there’s literally no way we could stop him.”

“You would not even let me hide behind you?” Eiji asks, going into the kitchen.

Bones makes a strangled noise from the doorway. “I would,” he says, grabbing at the end of his braid, “but we’d just both go out the window.”

“And I expect you to be on bottom to cushion Eiji’s fall,” Ash orders, folding his scarf and leaving it on the sofa. The boys have decorated for Christmas, presumably at Eiji’s request—there’s a few stockings on the walls, a dinky snowman plush on the end table, and a shitty plastic tree wrapped in three separate strings of differently colored lights sitting in the corner by the window.

Bones squeaks. “Boss! You were listenin’?!”

Ash levels a flat look at him, unimpressed. “I’m always listening.”

“Boss is Santa,” Kong whispers.

Ash just looks at him.

He looks at the floor. “Sorry.”

“Ignore him,” Eiji says merrily, grumpiness forgotten as he returns from the kitchen—whatever he found must have lifted his spirits. Hopefully, it’s good food. Ash is hungry, and something smells good. “He is just a party pooper. The food looks perfect! Thank you. Let us eat!”

It turns out that the things Eiji enlisted the boys in preparing are some mashed potatoes, a macaroni and cheese bake (“Eiji already made it ‘n’ put it in the fridge,” Alex explains. “All we had to do was bake it.”), a festive salad with Brussels sprouts and cranberries, and the centerpiece: a jumbo bucket of fried chicken from KFC.

“I woulda thought you’d’ve fried the chicken at home,” Ash comments, as they settle around the dining table. Eiji looks so pleased that he can’t begrudge him a single thing, not even a craving for fast food today. “What gives?”

“KFC is traditional for Christmas in Japan,” Eiji says, and wrinkles his nose. “I do not actually know why. But everyone gets it!”

“He was real excited to find out there’s a KFC not too far from here,” Alex says, smiling fondly at Eiji as he scoops potatoes into Ash’s plate for him. “You shoulda seen him, Boss. ‘Specially when we told him there’s no need for long lines for it on Christmas. Like a kid in a candy store.”

Eiji flushes, ducking his head. “It is just—I wanted to have a good Christmas!”

“Yeah, and it’s real cute!” Kong takes a bite of the mac ‘n’ cheese, and his face lights up. “Shit, Eiji, this is great!”

Eiji glows with the praise, face still pink. “I am glad you like it.”

Ash tries the potatoes, then the mac ‘n’ cheese, and finally pops a Brussels sprout into his mouth. “It’s good,” he says, and leans over to ruffle Eiji’s hair fondly. “Thanks.”

Despite their dire circumstances, the five of them have a surprisingly nice meal. Bones puts a Christmas playlist on from Ash’s laptop halfway through, and Kong surprises Eiji with a bottle of champagne and a festive strawberry-and-cream cake for dessert.

Eiji gasps, hands flying to his cheeks. “How—how did you know?”

“We searched up Japanese Christmas traditions,” Alex explains, grinning. “We did okay, right? This is the right cake?”

“It looks perfect,” Eiji sighs, melting, and turns to look at Ash with shining eyes. Ash smiles at him, soft and warm, and gets up to get a knife from the kitchen drawer.

“We also read about what it means to spend Christmas Eve with someone,” Bones tells Eiji from the dining room. “Eh, Eiji? Yeah?”

Eiji laughs. “Oh, shut up,” he says, but when Ash reenters the room, knife and stack of saucers in hand, he’s blushing again.

They settle in the living room to have the cake. Bones practically inhales his, while Kong shakes his head and takes such tiny bites Ash wonders if he’ll even finish it before midnight. Alex settles on the armrest of the couch, next to Eiji, and gives him a little nudge.

“Good Christmas Eve?” he asks, looking at Bones cutting himself another chunk of cake.

Eiji nods enthusiastically. “It was magical,” he says, and glances over to Ash, smiling that soft, sweet smile again. There’s a dollop of whipped cream on the tip of his nose.

Ash leans in and cups his face. “Hold still,” he says, and swipes it away with his thumb.

“Oh,” Eiji says, cheeks pink again. He’s so easily flustered. “Thank you.”

“Mhm.” Ash considers getting up to get a napkin, then thinks _fuck that_ and licks the cream off his thumb instead. “No problem.”

Eiji stares at him for a moment, then looks away, still blushing. Ash almost laughs.

“This music is jazzy!” Bones hoots, waving his arms. “Hey! Alex! Help me move the table. Let’s make a dance floor!”

Alex glances at Eiji as if asking for approval—and why does he not also ask for Ash’s approval? He’s the one paying rent!—and when Eiji nods, gets up to help Bones with the coffee table. They do some rearranging of the living room furniture, and Kong turns the volume all the way up on the music just as Mariah Carey begins to belt out “All I Want For Christmas”, and Bones grabs him, twirls him around, and cheers.

Eiji laughs and bounces forward, taking Alex’s hands, and Ash steps back to lean against the wall by the shitty Christmas tree, watching the four of them and smiling to himself. It feels warm and cozy. If he was more of a photographer, this would be one of those moments, he thinks—the ones that he’d want to document, to freeze in time, to look back on forever.

After the song ends, Eiji bows to Alex, grinning, and trots up to Ash.

“Ash—”

“I don’t really dance,” Ash says, before he can even ask.

“Like you don’t skate?” Eiji teases.

Rude. Ash huffs and looks away. It’s the exact opposite—he learned how to dance in a mansion not too far from here, with strict rules and stiff clothes, and harsh punishment if he did poorly. He knows how to dance in a ballroom, how to be beautiful and elegant and cold. How to stop being himself.

Eiji smiles and touches his arm, drawing him out of his thoughts. “Okay. I do not want to make you dance with me if you do not want to. Are you enjoying yourself at least?”

Ash softens and nods. “Yeah. This is nice.”

“I’m glad,” Eiji says. His hand is still on Ash’s arm. His smile is soft.

Ash turns his head to look darkly at all three of his boys, who have gone still on their makeshift dance floor to gawk at them. “And what are you staring at?”

“Um,” Bones squeaks, and looks at Kong.

“We decorated,” Kong elaborates, rather unhelpfully, and looks to Alex.

“You’re, uh, both… standing under the mistletoe.” Alex shifts from foot to foot, then rounds on Bones. “I _told_ you we shouldn’t have put it up—”

Ash looks up. Sure enough, a little sprig with white berries is hanging above them, tied innocuously with a red ribbon.

“Oh,” Eiji says. “Huh.”

Something unpleasant spikes in Ash’s stomach and his good mood sours—the memory of a kiss he stole months ago, when he used Eiji just like every man he’s ever known used him. Didn’t stop to ask if he would be okay, didn’t care—the kiss was just a means to an end. He knew Eiji was kind and would help him, and so he used him.

And now this stupid fucking plant wants to make him make Eiji relive that. As if it’s not bad enough that he’s a shitty friend who still sometimes thinks about kissing Eiji.

“Damn _straight_ you shouldn’t have hung that shit up,” he growls, glaring at Bones, who squeaks and ducks behind Alex. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“We thought it was cute and festive!” Kong waves his hands in surrender. “We’re sorry, Boss, we’ll take it down!”

“You had fucking better!” Ash snaps.

Eiji wraps his arms around himself. Ash turns to him, an apology on his lips, but Eiji doesn’t meet his eyes. “Wow, Ash, if you really do not want to kiss me that badly, you could have just said so,” he says, and his voice is light, but he doesn’t look very happy. “There is no need to yell at them.”

Ash balks. Why would Eiji think—he’s not—Eiji means the world to him, he has to know that! “It isn’t that,” he protests. “I—I’m not going to go around kissing people just because some fucking plant says I have to!”

Why is Eiji upset about this? Wouldn’t Ash kissing him be the exact thing he _doesn’t_ want?

“Well, I have never been kissed under the mistletoe.” Eiji looks up, the slight sadness in his face melting away. “You do not have to kiss me, Ash, I would never want you to kiss someone if you do not want to.”

Ash frowns. “You… sound like you want someone to kiss you under the mistletoe.”

“I do!” Eiji laughs again, and the tense moment, whatever it was, passes. “But I understand if it makes you uncomfortable. Sorry. I should not be grouchy with you over it.”

“It’s fine, but—what?”

Eiji ignores him, turning to Alex, Bones, and Kong, who are all still hiding behind each other a little bit. “One of you come here!” he says, and lightly pushes at Ash’s shoulder. “If this big lump won’t kiss me for Christmas, someone else can, right?”

Bones and Kong duck behind Alex immediately. “Sorry, Eiji, um, uh, we… we can’t!”

Ash feels his face heat. Eiji just wants someone to kiss him? Seriously? He just—

“Alex?” Eiji wheedles.

“Uh,” Alex says, and flicks his gaze to Ash. “I, uh.”

“You just want a kiss, huh?” Ash sighs, turns to Eiji, and shakes his head. “You really are weird.”

Eiji flushes red again. “I just—I have never done this, with anyone,” he says, “and everyone here is so much more open about kissing each other casually than all of my friends from home, and it seems sweet and romantic and cute and—”

“Okay, okay,” Ash interrupts, reaching for him. It’s just a kiss. Kissing Eiji again won’t doom him to stay here forever; it’s just a kiss. Ash can be selfish and kiss him right now like he’s been aching to, and it won’t have to change anything between them. “C’mere, god.”

Eiji looks shocked when Ash’s hand cups his jaw. “You—but Ash, if you are uncomfortable doing it, then I do not want—”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Ash murmurs, drawing him close. “I just… didn’t think you’d want me to kiss you again.”

Eiji’s brow furrows. This close, even in the dim light, Ash can see the brown in his eyes, dotted with the reflection of all the shitty lights on the shitty tree. “Why not?”

“Again?” Bones whispers, to Kong and Alex. “When did—"

Ash turns from Eiji to give the three of them the dirtiest look he can muster. “Can you guys fuck off?”

“Yes, Boss!” Bones salutes, and together they scramble from the living room into the spare-bedroom-turned-study. The door closes with a resounding _thud._

Eiji laughs softly as Ash cups his face again, leaning their foreheads together. “You really scare them so much. I do not understand why.”

“No one understands why I don’t scare you, too.” Ash strokes his thumb over his jaw. “Myself included.”

“Why did you think I would not want you to kiss me again?” Eiji’s eyes are dark and warm. Ash could drown in him.

“Because,” Ash says, and stops helplessly. “Because. The first time I was—I didn’t even care—I just _used_ you. That doesn’t bother you?”

Eiji shakes his head. “The circumstances were very dire. I do not think you did anything bad.”

“I kissed you without your permission,” Ash persists. “That is something bad. That’s, like, something bad by definition.”

Eiji’s eyes widen with some kind of revelation, and then he flings his arms around Ash’s shoulders and buries his face in his neck. Ash freezes. “Oh,” Eiji murmurs, holding him tight. “I understand now. Ash, you did not hurt me. That was nothing like what those awful men did to you. You did not hurt me at all, I promise.”

“I’m a bad person, Eiji.” Ash hesitates for a long moment before he wraps his arms around his waist, tentative. It doesn’t feel like he’s allowed. “I… I still think about… kissing you. I shouldn’t. I did that to you, and I keep thinking how I want to do it again. I’m not ‘nothing like them’, I’m _exactly_ like them, Eiji.”

“You are not.” Eiji hugs him tighter. “Would any of them care about whether what they did hurt you?”

Ash tries not to flinch. “Obviously not.”

“And yet you care so much about me.” Eiji blinks, and his eyelashes brush the side of Ash’s neck. “And no one can tell you this more truthfully than I can. Ash, you did not hurt me. In any way.”

Ash sucks in a breath. “But…”

Eiji gives him a squeeze. “Do you want to kiss me again?”

Ash takes a deep breath. Blows it out. “Yeah, but you shouldn’t—”

“That makes me happy,” Eiji murmurs, gently swaying their hug to the beat of whichever song is on now—it’s one of the slow ones, but beyond that, Ash doesn’t care. “Because I sometimes think about kissing you again, too.”

Ash freezes. “You… do?”

Eiji nods. “And I never would if you did not want me to. But I would like to kiss you, someday.”

Ash squeezes his eyes shut and breathes in slowly. “Someday” makes it sound like they have a future together, with the time they need to figure it out. They don’t. They won’t. They can’t.

But, god, it’s Christmas Eve, and he’s so tired. Just for tonight, he’ll let himself—he’ll ignore the world and pretend there’s an ending where they both survive this and come out happy on the other side, and he’ll let himself daydream about that really being their future. It kind of makes him want to cry. “I… would like that, too.”

“Do you want me to kiss you now?” Eiji asks, lifting his head from his shoulder. His eyes shine with the lights. “We are still under the mistletoe, you know.”

Ash hesitates for a long moment before he lets out a breath and shakes his head _no._ “Not… not yet. Sorry. I… just need to think a little, before… I just… I need a little bit.”

“Take all the time you need.” Eiji touches his cheek, smiling gently, and leans in and presses a tender, warm kiss to his jaw. Ash’s breath catches in his throat, and Eiji pulls back, looking pleased. “There. Mistletoe, satisfied.”

Affection crashes over him like a tsunami, and Ash catches his hand, kisses his palm, his knuckles, his fingertips. No matter what drags him down, Eiji’s always willing to meet him wherever he is, huh? He kisses his palm, again, and slowly meets his eyes. “There,” he murmurs back. “Mistletoe satisfied, both ways.”

Eiji’s smile is luminous in the dimness. “Perfect,” he says, and looks up at the innocuous mistletoe hanging above their heads. “Let’s go get those three. But we can leave that up. What do you think?”

Ash raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

Eiji laughs and steps back, squeezing his hand fondly before he lets go. “Ash, do me a favor, and Google what Christmas Eve is about in Japan, okay?”

Ash blinks. “Uh, sure, but… what does that have to do with…?”

Eiji smiles the softest, warmest smile Ash has ever seen on him, and looks up at the mistletoe. “Simple,” he says. “It will be a promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> i caught myself trying so hard to find floorplans of the apartments at one columbus place to see how many doors theyd run past when ash chased him to the end of the hall. it was ridiculous like @myself rimi this is for One (1) Sentence you don't need to know
> 
> (there's an average of 14 apartments per floor in case you were wondering)
> 
> (but there's more on lower floors and less on higher ones bc the larger apartments are further up)
> 
> (also the rockefeller center ice rink has a broken as fuck info box on their website but we're going to pretend that it makes sense for asheiji to slide on into one of the evening sessions with time to spare even on christmas fucking eve. don't question it too hard)
> 
> find me on: { [tumblr](https://eijispumpkin.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/songbirdrimi) }


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